By Bill and John Borel

Taking up arms in Paradise, Escena Golf Course
John and Bill Borel

(The continuing saga of two brothers battling rattlesnakes, road runners, and each other for eternal glory…or something like that.)

John:    Sunday, November, 10.

Here we are at Indio, which is seeming more and more like paradise. 80 degree temps, sun and beautiful golf courses. As I always used to say, this is the life. We tried to go to Joshua Tree National Forest today, but turned back when we discovered we were going west and the national park was east. Went 40 miles out of our way.

We played at Eagle Falls course today with a Canadian couple, who also were real golfers. They were very friendly and accepting of our pitiful imitation of golfers.

I lost my 5 iron on some hole (it was cart paths only, and you had to carry extra clubs out on the fairway. Since I can only count to five, I must have accidentally carried six clubs out and just left it.) Fortunately, some golfers behind us found it and brought it to us just before we were going to leave that golf course forever.

Escena Golf Course, Photo by John Borel

The course was absolutely beautiful. Set in the middle of a desert. There were signs everywhere “Beware of rattle snakes in this area.” Made you a little afraid of looking for all of those lost balls. Losing the 5 iron was bad and that was a cause for mirth from everyone..”Why don’t you use your 5 iron on that shot, John?”

But I was having a good day and actually beat Bill, although he has not yet paid me the $6 he owes me. He put up a fierce fight, I have to say. He says he won’t give me a handicap tomorrow. He really isn’t terribly fair. I hope Cathy notes that in her blog. Gotta go.

I hear him getting near. Next time we will discuss our political views. By the way Danelle , I may have been mistaken…it may have been me (moi) who leaves things around messily.

Bill: Day 5 AM before golf

Day 3 golf went as planned. I won and pocketed the full prize money of $6 by winning front, back, and overall. I am not sure it is really winning when I had to buy the beer which cost $10. But there is a new scary development. John has improved his game. Had it not been for an attempt to mimic Keegan Bradley, an obnoxious pro golfer, he might have won the back nine. He did do a good impression of him though.

Since we are without our wives, food has been, “So what shall we eat tonight?” when it is 8 PM. I introduced John to In N Out, double doubles, which helped him solve his cramping stomach problem. This might have been a mistake because he might be able to concentrate on golf now.

And so it was. There is no way to describe golf Sunday but a total massacre. And since we played a golf game, which is appropriately called “skins game”, he left parts of my skin everywhere on the course. They will find me buried in sand traps, hanging from the scrub oak, under replaced divot holes, and probably being used as camouflage by the local rattlers. To add insult to injury we are playing a course named Cathedral Canyon in Cathedral City. I am glad we are not playing any courses named Tombstone. So, it is 5 am and we will be off and running soon. Catch you later if I have any dignity left.

John:  November 11, 6:32 A.M.   We haven’t talked about the effect on other people of seeing the two gray haired Borel brothers approaching. Bill has an infectious way about him and gets them smiling. In fact many times they start laughing at our approach. Even on the phone they start laughing. It is wonderful to have this kind of impact. Especially the golfers that we play with. They just laugh and laugh. Bill is afraid sometimes that we embarrass ourselves with a bad shot now and then. But I tell him my shots are bad all of the time. And who cares anyway? We’ll never see them again.

He has worked some wonders. He called a golf course and was told a fairly high greens fee. So he asked if they could do any better. The guy dropped the price by $20. Perhaps he was taking pity on us in advance.

Escena Golf Course Photo by John Borel

John:  Nov. 11, 2:09 pm

We have just finished this beautiful course and are sitting down for lunch at their clubhouse. Soup and salad for me. Bill and I played with another really good golfer, a volunteer Marshall at this course.  He was a chatty fellow and a lot of fun.  We tied on the front nine, but Bill won the back nine. I was a bit off today, but I hope to get a second wind tomorrow….Absolutely beautiful place, set against the mountains.

Escena Golf Course

Subject: Lunch companions

John: 3:15 Nov. 11.   We were joined for lunch by this roadrunner at the Escena golf course. He posed for us. Bill also convinced me (Mr. Gullible) that Reese Witherspoon is sitting down at the end of the veranda. But then he confessed that Danelle gets after him for mistakenly identifying movie stars and other celebrities who are in reality just people like you and me. That’s him in the picture. You can tell from his glasses.

John:   We played Escena golf course today. It was beautiful. But we were bushed at the end. The good-natured fellow who played with us, a volunteer Marshall at the course (who gets free golf in return) was very good. He advised us against playing  two rounds of 18 holes because of the heat. However, we are stubborn and are determined to play two rounds tomorrow. Anyway, we have already booked it. Bill beat me 102 to 100, winning  $4, but he bought me lunch at the golf course. That’s where we saw the roadrunner on the next table. I mean the bird, that roadrunner.

We came back to the resort and went to the hot tub after a couple of beers (no dinner, just snacks tonight ) Believe it or not, we saw a stork here at the resort.  When we went to the spa, everyone else left. Maybe our charm is wearing off. We still plan to talk politics. My contribution is to publicize my sister Mary’s idea about football. In the old days when our dad was a star football player, they wore soft helmets and no one got concussions. Duh!  Nowadays, the players’ heads are protected by titanium? helmets, and they have no fear, no compunction about using their head as a battering ram. Don’t you think they would be more careful if they wore soft helmets? Soccer players don’t get concussions.  Well, that’s my two bits.

Bill:  Day ????, We played Escena so it must be Monday. Another great course and a third time hooking up with someone nice. We are having trouble with our image. Everyone says they enjoy playing with us…except the guy today was concerned about taking our picture because he gets squeamish when he witnesses violence.

Uncle Bill, Wondering if winning is really getting him ahead…
Photo by John Borel

Retribution for yesterdays skinning was slow and hopefully painful. John managed a hard fought tie in the front nine, but wore down under the constant pressure of my double bogies on the back nine. Again my $4 winnings disappeared in the lunch tip, which lunch I also paid for. Now I know how John and Phyllis can afford to travel around the world.

We are sitting on a second floor deck overlooking a water world of pools, and witnessing a surreal scene of old and young sitting in clear inner tubes floating around in a circle around a phony island. They appear to be zombies, staring into open space with blank looks. One very large woman is walking the circular pool allowing the inner tubers to slip stream and draft behind her.

Tomorrow we play two rounds starting at 6:30 and ending at dark, or until one of us drops from exhaustion or cries, “uncle!”. Oh, that’s us, we will have to cry out for, “Niece!” so if this is the last you ever hear from us, know we went the way we lived, fighting for our mother’s love.

P.S.  Please join us next week for the stunning conclusion.  Meanwhile, Uncles, rest well, rub those tired legs…and hold on to your 5 iron!  With love, Your Niece, Cathy